Celebration of Life Service at Holcomb-Henry-Boom-Purcell Funeral Home, Shoreview MN on October 8, 2020
Obituary – Lois Ann “Sandy” Cimbura (Benson) Age 78
Lois Ann “Sandy” Cimbura passed peacefully shortly before sunrise on Thursday, October 1st, 2020 at the age of 78 due to complications of kidney disease.
Born June 20, 1942 in Detroit, Michigan, she inherited her love of music from her mother, and was the third generation in her family to give piano lessons. Her faith was integral to her daily life, and she often said God is good, all the time.
Sandy worked outside the home as an administrative assistant for many years, but her main passion in life was cultivating relationships and playing the roles of a wife, mother, and grandmother. Her greatest joy came from church and family gatherings, playing piano and flute, and singing—especially the alto harmony part in her favorite hymns.
Sandy always had a smile and a kind word for everyone who crossed her path, and loved to strike up conversations with anyone at any time. She especially loved spending time with her family, including children and grandchildren.
She had just celebrated 56 years of marriage on August 22, and is lovingly remembered by her husband Thomas, children Timothy Cimbura (Brenda), Sharon Gerlach (Charles), and Daniel Cimbura; grandchildren Ben, Grace, Luke, Arianna and Brielle; and her brother Robert Benson (Sharon).
Tribute to Mom – Sharon Gerlach
Most of you knew my Mom as Sandy, but she was born Lois Ann Benson in Detroit, Michigan. Truth be told, she hated it when people called her “Lois.” Her mother’s name was Lois, so to distinguish her from her mother, she always went by Lois Ann when she was growing up. She even wrote it as one long name, “Loisanne”, just so people wouldn’t be tempted to call her “Lois”. Then one day in college, on her way out of a classroom, a classmate asked her name, and she answered “Loisanne”. Apparently, my mom talks fast, because the next day, her new friend greeted her: “Hi, Sandy!” My mom loved it. Eventually, she asked that everyone call her by her new nickname. It was a fun name, and it really fit her.
She may not have wanted her mother’s name, but she did inherit my grandma’s love of music. My mom frequently played piano at church, and taught piano lessons for many years out of our home, just like her mother before her, and her mother’s mother before her. I feel kind of bad that I’ve broken the family tradition by never actually giving piano lessons, although I do play piano, and I am a teacher. So I guess I took after her after all. I also love to sing, and my dad says I didn’t inherit my musical ability from him. 🙂 My mom used to love to sing the alto harmony in hymns at church, and last year she was so happy to be a part of the little chorus they formed at their senior residence, Applewood Pointe.
My mom felt it was truly providential that they found an opening at Applewood Pointe, which my mom and dad called home for the past three years. Their unit number, 121, happened to be the number of one of her favorite hymns: The Lord Will Provide. And He did. If you know my Mom, you know that she thrived on social interaction. Boy did she love to talk! When I was little and our family would go to Bible studies together at our friend’s homes, it was all we could do to drag my mom out of the door at the end of the evening. The whole family would be sitting out in the car waiting, while my dad called out to her, “Come on, Sandy! We have to go!” I have to admit sometimes being embarrassed as a teenager, as my Mom talked just a little too long to the waitress at our table, or the clerk at the post office, or the receptionist at the dentist’s… But that’s also what I loved about her–she was always ready with a smile and a compliment and a genuine interest in other people and whatever they were going through. As the years went by and her health declined, it became increasingly difficult for my mom to go out and get the social interaction she loved, so it was a real blessing for her to have a whole community of new friends to socialize with, just down the hall at Applewood Pointe.
My mom often complimented people on their jewelry–it was something she noticed a lot more than I do. And Charles and I will never forget her reaction when we got engaged. After the proposal, we went over to my parents’ house to give them the good news in person, but I was barely in the entryway for 10 seconds before she spotted that ring on my finger all the way from the top of the stairs and gasped, “You got engaged!”
Once I got married, my Mom couldn’t wait to become a Grandma. Not that she put on any pressure, but she did start building up a substantial personal library of brand new children’s books just so she would be ready! I think that being a Grandma might have been her favorite role in life. She always listened patiently whenever one of her grandchildren had something to say. As we went through our pictures of my Mom this past week, it really struck me that she looked happiest when she had a grandchild in her lap.
My Mom felt things very deeply, and when bad things happened to other people, she really felt their pain, and it was sometimes too much for her to bear. Because of this, she really had to avoid listening to the daily news cycle–it was just too upsetting. One of my cousins told me that to this day, when he feels he needs to take a break from the news feed, he says it’s time to “pull a Sandy” and just turn it off! But she always said she’d rather care too much than not at all.
I was reminded of how much she cared when I read the memorial tributes to her on her Facebook page:
- She was one of the most gentle, loving women I have had the privilege of knowing.
- She was Little Miss “Make-you-feel-happy.”
- She practically ran across the room to greet and hug you, the moment she spotted you.
- She was such a sweet, gentle & positive soul.
- A blessed example of what Christ-likeness means.
I’d like to close my tribute by sharing a video I put together for my parent’s 50th anniversary in 2014. Marriage was very important to my Mom. She always said she went to college to get her “Mrs.”! My Dad said that what he liked about dating her was that he didn’t have to work very hard to keep the conversation going! She and my Dad met at a church convention in October 1962, and by Christmastime she was convinced he was going to give her his class ring. Instead he surprised her by proposing! The first words out of her mouth were, “Who, me? I can’t cook!” But she said yes anyway. My parents modeled a strong marriage for us for over 56 years, and she called him her “handsome husband” right up until the very end.
Tribute to Mom – Tim Cimbura
Today I will celebrate my mother by sharing some of the good memories we had together and what she felt was important in life.
Who was Sandy?
Mom was believer, a wife, mom, and grandma. In that order…she prioritized them as God, husband, and family.
Mom and dad were married for over 56 years. That’s longer than I’ve been alive! … fortunately! Mom and dad were a great example of a long lasting loving marriage. Every relationship has ups and downs. Staying together through it all is important and meaningful.
A career was secondary for mom. She worked as an admin assistant several places. At Midland Coop she got me a tour of the first large data processing computer room I ever saw…and then mom helped me to get a computer programming job at Honeywell where we worked together.
Mom got a job with specific medical insurance so I could have jaw surgery as a sophomore in high school. That changed my life. Mom was supportive and encouraging.
In our family, mom was a peacemaker. She always wanted everyone to get along. Funny thing is sometimes people don’t always agree. Growing up mom interceded for me with dad. Secret…it was often easier to convince mom of something I wanted…and then she’d work on convincing dad. She impressed on me that relationships were more important than doctrines, theology, and politics.
Mom was a detailed person. She had excellent cursive handwriting…and I had her write things for me when I was a kid. Here she wrote in a Bible I got when I was young.
Mom loved to talk. She told stories with a little more detail than necessary sometimes. “Get to the point Sandy.” We don’t need to know the color of their shirt if it’s not relevant to the story.
Stories about Sandy
Soon after I was born, mom put me to work washing dishes, vacuuming, and shoveling the driveway! Actually, that’s not me, it’s my daughter Brielle. But that’s why you have kids, right? So they can take care of the chores around the house! Let’s get some work done around here.
Mom started me early with juggling pins…who knew at that time it would lead to doing it professionally? In second grade, mom got me my first gig doing magic for the kindergarten class where she was a teacher’s helper. Mom and dad drove me to magic lessons downtown Minneapolis at Eagle Magic. Mom was always my first audience for new magic tricks.
Mom wasn’t gifted with the mathematical and logical….so an out of character thing that she did for me growing up was teach me how to play chess. I asked how she did that? I just read the directions to you.
I remember watching the FIRST episode of Sesame Street on our black and white TV with the muppets. Even with the grandkids, Mom still loved watching Sesame Street 45 years later. She had patience to read books to them, and play with dolls, practice writing, etc. She loved to see the world through the eyes of children.
Mom liked collecting things… stuffed bears, Christmas houses, bird sculptures, etc. Jewelry and treasures. She got excited about how beautiful they were…and wanted you to appreciate them just as much as she did… often I didn’t. “Yeah…it’s a teddy bear mom.”
We had many fun family vacations during the summer. The three kids were placed ever so safely on a blanket in the back of a Ford station wagon without any sort of seat belt or child restraint!…and we lived through it!
Mom put together our wardrobe of smily face shirts and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse T-shirts. Mom even sewed matching dresses for Sharon…the cutest thing.
Picture of Model T – That was not our car. I’m not that old! The horse was also not our mode of transportation… but we upgraded to a Chevy conversion van for a trip out to California…that was the coolest.
My love for Disney started early with seeing Mickey Mouse and company at Brookdale mall and then a family trip to Florida and DisneyWorld.
Mom had a QVC phase where she’d buy things for us and herself. Boxes arrived at the door with regularity even before Amazon. It was always from a place of wanting to help make lives easier and better…and make people happy.
Mom loved being a grandma. We originally moved to Blaine so mom and dad could help with the babysitting when the girls were young. The girls remembered that grandma always had chocolate covered raisins as a treat … but she was careful not to go overboard…you only get 5 at a time!
Music
Mom loved music and passed that love onto us kids…by teaching us piano and prioritizing learning band instruments and singing. She played and taught piano and flute.
I started lessons at 5 years old. Mom forced me to practice. She’d set the timer 25 minutes. I didn’t like practicing…so I’d bump the timer forward a little bit to shorten the pain. I was so happy when I got to 5th grade when I started playing trumpet and could drop the piano. In high school I began playing piano again out of necessity to help accompany our choir.
Today I play piano almost every day for enjoyment…and trumpet as well. I find great joy in the gift of music she gave me. It helps me relax and focus my mind on something positive. Mom enjoyed anytime she could make music and most recently that was with the choir at Applewood.
Scriptures
Mom found peace and hope in the Word of God. Here are some Bible verses she loved:
- When anxiety overtakes me and worries are many, your comfort lightens my soul – Psalm 94:19
- Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7
- Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice. Philippians 4:4
- Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34
- Be still and remember I am God Psalm 46:10
Facebook and Sandy
Mom said something her grandma said “Everybody’s funny except for mom and me and sometimes mom is funny.” With that said…let’s talk about Facebook and my mom.
We originally got mom to join Facebook so we could easily share photos of our kids with her. She soon took to it as a way to connect with her friends. She said “I enjoy sharing beautiful flowers & birds.” Facebook made what was normally on the fridge sharable with all her friends.
When mom was first learning how to use Facebook, she would comment on nearly everything I posted…even work and business related. “New FileMaker version is released today.” Mom would respond. “That’s so exciting, Tim. I’m happy for you.” Mom…you don’t have to acknowledge everything I say. Our prospective clients aren’t looking for a round of endorsement from the CEO’s mother.
She recently watched Facebook live concerts with Tara B…who graciously let us use two of her songs at the beginning. Look at Sandy’s Facebook page. It was always encouraging and positive. https://www.facebook.com/sandy.cimbura
Mom shared a lot of quotes and sayings on Facebook she found helpful:
- The Serenity Prayer – Serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
- If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Three gates of gold. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
- “God wants us to look at the good in everyone.”
- Do you ever look at your children and grandchildren and feel your heart melting because you love them so much.
- Smile – If you have the power to make someone smile do it. The world needs more of that.
- If 2020 is telling us anything…It’s telling us enjoy the moments we have and don’t take any day, anything, or anyone for granted.
- Take some time out before bed to sit a while and be thankful.
Summary
Mom always remembered birthdays and special occasions. Holiday meals together were so important to her. We made some wonderful memories.
My mom was not known for her career or amazing hobbies. She was maybe extraordinarily ordinary. She showed her character through the fruits of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control – Galatians 5:22-23
Mom struggled with anxiety but did everything she could to remain positive and lessen stress in the lives of others. Mom was one of the kindest, nicest people you could ever meet. She always had a smile and hug.
Her greatest accomplishments were being a faithful wife for 56 years, raising three kids as a mom, influencing grand kids as a grandma, and loving people. That is really a lot. The world was a better place for my mom being in it. I’m thankful she was in my life and I will miss her.
One of her favorite hymns was Make Me a Blessing. That’s what she wanted her life to be. Let’s listen as we watch some photos of mom with music and grandkids…while Sharon and Charles Gerlach sing.
Introduce “In the Garden” – Sharon Gerlach
My Mom had a lot of favorite hymns, but there was one that had special meaning to her because it was her mother’s favorite hymn, and was the special music they used for her father’s funeral service in 1984. So we’d like to share it with you now.
Intro to Poems – Sharon Gerlach
Since my Mom’s death, I’ve been comforted and supported by friends and family who shared the positive impact my Mom had on their lives. One of my cousins shared that she always remembered the poem my Mom would quote: “If we only understood.” My mom was the most empathetic person I knew. She thought it was important to give others the benefit of the doubt, and not leap to judgment when we don’t know what might be going on in someone’s life. This was one of her favorite poems.
If We Only Understood (Poems of Dawn, p. 139)
Could we but draw back the curtains
That surround each other’s lives,
See the naked heart and spirit,
Know what spur the action gives,
Often we should find it better
Purer than we judged we should,
We should love each other better,
If we only understood.
If we knew the cares and trials,
Knew the efforts all in vain,
And the bitter disappointment,
Understood the loss and gain—
Would the grim, eternal roughness
Seem—I wonder—just the same?
Should we help where now we hinder?
Should we pity where we blame?
Ah, we judge each other harshly,
Know not life’s hidden force:
Knowing not the fount of action
Is less turbid at its source:
Seeing amid the evil
All the golden grain of good:
And we’d love each other better
If we only understood.
Scatter Seeds of Kindness (Poems of Dawn, p. 136)
Loving words will cost but little,
Journeying up the hill of life;
But they make the weak and weary
Stronger, braver for the strife.
Do you count them only trifles?
What to earth are sun and rain?
Never was a kind word wasted,
Never was one said in vain.
When the cares of life are many.
And its burdens heavy grow
For the ones who walk beside you,
If you love them, tell them so.
What you count of little value
Hath an almost magic power,
And beneath that cheering sunshine
Hearts will blossom like a flower.
So as up life’s hill we journey,
Let us scatter all the way
Kindly words, to be as sunshine
In the dark and cloudy day.
Grudge no loving word, my brother,
As along through life you go,
To the ones who journey with you;
If you love them, tell them so.
Here’s a link to one of Sandy’s favorite hymns: Make Me a Blessing