This week I attended two funerals for friends that recently passed away after battles with cancer. Doing so reminded me of the fragility of life and importance of relishing every moment.
One memorial was for Paul Singer, the former CIO at Target Corporation. He was a friend and mentor. As an exceptional businessman with character, he made good things happen and so was offerred many challenges. He was someone who knew why he was here in this world. Paul had a passion for adoption and he was driven to find homes for kids. He lived his faith. His life was too short but it was well lived.
His friends and family were asked to describe Paul in one word. Words they used were: respected, hilarious, compassionate, dignified, larger-than-life, unique, easy-going, father, and loving. If you were to learn one thing from Paul’s life it would be to create the kind of family that he did. Love your own kids and others as well.
The other funeral was for a friend’s wife Michelle. She left a legacy of creating beauty and playing roles of friend, daughter, sister, aunt, mom, and wife. Her life was a unique expression of her love for God. She lived and laughed a lot.
Facing untimely death makes us view our lives in a different light. It puts the importance and priorities on different things. We need to spend our time and energy on the things that have the most lasting value and impact. We should follow our passions. We need to balance appropriately all the roles we play.
I view the most important roles for me as husband and father. If I can fulfill those two roles at minimum I will have lived well. I am fortunate that my work roles are ones that I truly enjoy…in helping people support their passions with technology and inspiring people to have hope and laughter in life.
I encourage you to put some thought into your life this week and do two things.
(1) Ask yourself the following questions: How will you be remembered? What legacy will you leave? What will people say about you when you’re gone? Who’s lives are you touching and leaving better for it?
If you don’t like what the answer is, now is the time to begin changing it. For me, I truly hope that people don’t just say I was a nice person. I would view that as a failure.
(2) Choose one person you love and write down a list of all the positive one word descriptors that you can come up with. Send it to them now. Believe me, it will make their day.
For me, I wrote a few words about my lovely wife including: discerning, insightful, wise, loving, beautiful, heart-of-gold, fun, intelligent, caring, compassionate, inspiring, strategic, creative, focused, achieving, justice-seeking, enthusiastic, likable, persuasive, poised, confident, sympathetic, empathetic, optimistic, big-thinker, giving, generous, romantic, etc.
If you haven’t met Brenda and don’t know this about her, I encourage you to do so. Your life will be better for knowing her. (Fortunately for me, I get special priority time with her.)
The Bible says there is a time and season for everything (Eccl 3:1) and these past days were a time to mourn, comfort, heal, and remember. Fortunately, both of these people had a strong hope founded on their faith in God. They had made a decision to follow Christ as their leader. They modeled their lives after His example. If you’re going to choose a mentor…He’s the best there is. It’s a comfort to know in this season of loss after their passing, that this separation is temporary and it is for them just the beginning of new future life.
Who was someone that really mattered to you that you lost? What is their story and how did they make a difference in your life?
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