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Tim Cimbura

Technology, Speaking, and Entertainment

Ask More Questions

2009-07-12 By tcimbura Leave a Comment

A few months ago I took Arianna to her first dance class. It was fascinating watching the little ones meet for the first time. One girl would come up and ask her a question like. “What’s YOUR name?” She’d answer “Arianna. How old are YOU?” “I’m almost four.” “Where do you live?” There was a long pause…”I don’t know!” Her concept of geography leaves something to be desired at this point.

As adults we might not be so bold to ask our age or address as the first questions when we meet someone. Often times people are even afraid to ask someone’s name. Why? Asking questions with genuine interest is so powerful. It can make you a new friend within minutes, solve a problem at work, help make a good decision, radically change a relationship, or any number of other positive outcomes.

Kids are the kings of question asking. The most common word for children age 3-5 (besides “no”) is “Why?”. We should take a lesson from them.

RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS
One of my favorite questions to ask people I’ve just met is “What do you do for fun?” or “What are you passionate about?” I believe this question is more important than asking about their job, where they’re from, etc. It gets immediately to the heart of what they value and who they are. I’m surprised at how often people can’t even answer the question. For many it’s been so long since they’ve had fun that they don’t even know. Work is important…but needs to be balanced with rest and relaxation so that you have the energy and creativity to do a good job and be productive.

Here’s one powerful question you can ask your significant other on a regular basis. “Honey, what can I do for you that would make your day?” (You can leave the word “honey” out if you like. “Sweetums”, “sugar plum”, or “baby cakes” may be acceptable alternatives depending on your mood.)

A second powerful question to improve relationships is this: “On a scale from 1-10 where do you see our relationship?” Follow up with “What would it take to make it a 10?” For married couples, the answer to this question is a built-in marriage manual that comes straight from your spouse.

LIFE QUESTIONS
My daughter recently asked a powerful question: “What are we going to do GREAT today?” You can ask yourself that one every day. The answer should be something great. At the end of the day, if you’ve done at least one great thing, then it was worth living.

When people ages 65 and older were asked, “What would you do differently if you could live your life over?” the top three responses were: (1) Stop and take time to ask the big questions (2) Take more risks in work and love and (3) Live life with a purpose and make a difference.
You don’t have to wait until your 65 to ask yourself this question. What can you do TODAY to live with purpose and make a difference?

Nearly everyone wishes they could win the lottery. Here’s a question to add perspective to that wish “How would you live your life today if you had a million dollars?” Think about it. What would you change? Maybe you’d get a bigger house, a boat, a lake cabin, or take a trip…but after the initial buying spree is done…what would you do differently? For most people, I think the real important changes they ‘d make may not really require the money. So the follow up question is: “What is stopping you from doing that today?”

LEARNING AND GROWING QUESTIONS
I heard a story about a little girl who was watching her mom make a roast beef. Her mother cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it, and set it in the roasting pan. The girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast. Her mother replied “That’s the way my mother had always done it.”
That night grandma came to dinner and the little girl asked her why she had cut the end off of the roast. After some thought grandma answered “That’s the way my mother had always done it.”
The girl’s great grandmother was quite old and lived in a nursing home. The girl went to see her and again asked the question. Grandma looked a bit annoyed and said, “Why so it would fit in the pan, of course!”
We can learn from this story that, like the little girl, we need to ask the right questions. Why do we do things? Is it just tradition? Is it the way we’ve ALWAYS done things? Maybe it’s time for a change.

I propose that we ask the following questions of ourselves when we plan to ask questions for the purpose of learning:
1. WHAT are you asking? Is it addressing the major issues of your life? Is it an open ended question that provides you with actionable information? Is it not a yes/no dead end question?
2. WHO are you asking? Is the person respected, trusted, and intelligent? Do they have some experience, talent, or expertise that you don’t have?
3. WHY are you asking? Do you really want to know the answer? Are you asking with a sincere heart?
4. WHEN are you asking? Is it a good time for the other person to answer? Are you in the right environment?
5. HOW are you asking? Are you asking a question in e-mail or over that phone that is better to ask in person?

Try asking someone you trust this question: “Is there any advice you can give me that would improve my life 100%?” Maybe you’ll be surprised at the answer you get…just for asking.

Filed Under: Relationships

Searching Anywhere

2009-06-25 By tcimbura 1 Comment

Yesterday, I went to our local Hollywood video. I was looking for a movie by Nick Park (of Wallace & Gromit fame) called “Shaun the Sheep”. At the time, I didn’t know the exact spelling and couldn’t find it on the shelf under “S”.

The guy at the counter couldn’t find anything similar in the computer. He looked with several different spellings “Shawn, Sean, Sheep, Baah,” etc. He couldn’t search by director, either. Then it dawned on me. I have the internet on my iPhone. I should search there! I pressed the Google button, followed by the “voice search” button and spoke out loud into my phone “Shaun the Sheep”. Within a few seconds I was looking at the official fan site and all 6 of the DVDs (only 3 are available in the U.S so far). Shaun the Sheep: Back in the Ba-a-ath In fact, within a few seconds more I could order the DVD and have it on my doorstep the next day.

The moral here: If companies don’t have excellent technology support within their shops, they will lose business. It should scare you as a business owner when the customer has more power on their phone than the person behind the counter does with a high speed connection and full computer. It’s time for some technology investment. It’s smart business.

Filed Under: Movies/Video

The Broken Projector Solution

2009-05-29 By tcimbura Leave a Comment


The other day I was in a business meeting. The meeting started on time…but the video projector did not. We tried multiple computers and settings until we finally concluded the thing was broken. We were at a stand still. We were working on some database design tasks and we really needed to all look at the same screen in order to accomplish our meeting objectives.

I looked around the room and saw 6 laptops. Everyone had a screen directly in front of them. I thought (to myself) “What if they could all see what I’m seeing on their screen?” Then the solution dawned on me. Mac OS X Leopard has built in screen sharing (via iChat or direct connection with VNC). I opened my computer for screen sharing and had everyone else in the room connect to my computer so they could view my screen in a window on their laptops.

Now not only could everyone see directly what I was doing on my screen, but we had another major benefit. Each meeting participant could also interactively control the screen whenever desired. This feature actually led to some confusion as multiple people tried to do something at the same time causing the mouse pointer to jump around or keys typing. By the end of the meeting we had established a new meeting norm for “hands off”. Everyone was required to put their hands up in the air “hold up style” and let designated driver do the work when we handed off control.

This is now possibly the preferred method of working. Even if we had the projector working…we could still allow people to connect this way on their laptop. It really made things easier and added some new dynamics to the meeting that made for fun and productivity.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

A Fun Staycation in Minneapolis

2009-05-25 By tcimbura Leave a Comment

One of the “Child at Heart” themes is experiencing things for the “first time”. A great way to do this is through travel. Travel expert Rick Steve’s calls traveling “heightened living”. Like children, when we experience things for the first time out senses are more alive. We see, hear, smell, feel, and taste things that are new to us.

Often we don’t take the time to explore the world we live in from day to day…like a tourist would if they were here. There are many things we don’t notice and perspectives that we don’t get because we simply don’t take the opportunity to move out of our home and away from the TV. Many times it takes someone visiting us from out of town for us to go and see some of the amazing things we have right in our own backyard.

I plan to provide some suggested itineraries in my blog that will help people explore some new areas. Most of them will be focused on the Twin Cities area…since that’s where I live. In any case, the ideas and principles can be used anywhere you are.

Choosing an activity – One of the things we enjoy doing is taking a map of our area and spreading it out on the table. Note something interesting. All the green stuff indicates parks. All the blue stuff indicates water. Both can provide a wealth of interesting venues for exploration. Pick one at random and then make an outing to go visit. Pack a picnic lunch or pick up some sandwiches on the way and enjoy. Cities can also provide a lot of interesting options. Pick a new mall to explore. You’ll feel like you’re on vacation because it’s simply something that you don’t do that often. We tend to get stuck in our familiar surroundings and always go to the same shopping area that is closest to us.

So this particular day we planned to a little staycation to downtown Minneapolis. We’ve had light rail here for a few years and I’m never ridden it. We also have this landmark that looks like the Washington Monument with windows. It’s called the Foshay tower. So with those two things I’ve never experienced we set out for a fun day. Along the way we ran into some other fun things.

Here’s our itinerary for this fine Saturday:
10 am – Arrive at the Mall of American and park in front of Bloomingdales. It’s free parking at the mall. We took a quick bathroom break for the kids before we set off for the day. Walk down the stairs outside in the parking lot and get to the start of the Hiawatha line light rail. Kids under 6 are free so we purchased 2 adult tickets for $1.75 in the machine and then took the rail to downtown Minneapolis…Nicollet Ave. On the way we passed the old city hall and our daughter thought it was Cinderella’s Castle. Who need’s Disneyworld?

10:45 am – We tool a leisurely stroll down Nicolett Mall. We peeked in Gaviidae Plaza to look up and see the Phoenix water fountain. http://www.gaviidaecommon.com
We then went up one floor to the skyway and walked through Sak’s Fifth Avenue to the fountain in the IDS Crystal Court. From here you can see the restaurant Basil’s that is famous for the intro to “Mary Tyler Moore” show. We grabbed a bag of the greatest oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a drink at Potbelly Sandwich Works.

11:30 am – We continued our walk through Macy’s and onto the street level. There were lots of photo opportunities. Down near Peeve Plaza and Orchestra Hall in front of Brit’s Pub (a great place for “bangers and mash”, shepherd’s pie or fish and chips) we saw a group of people doing “Morris dancing“…a form of English folk dance. They were having a lot of fun. One of the dancers told me “This type of dancing used to be done by the youth at harvest time in Europe but today it’s mostly old people with beards.” I thought they were mostly young at heart.

12 pm – We backtracked with out destination the Foshay Tower which is now the W Hotel. The national historic register operates the observation deck on the 30th floor (open daily from 12 noon-9 pm). It’s $8 for adults and free for kids.
It was really interesting to get a great view and some good photos from so high up. One kid said “Wow! I can see the whole universe from here! This is the funnest day I’ve ever had.” We learned some really interesting facts about the tower and the history surrounding it. We had a delicious lunch at the Key’s Cafe on the first floor.

2 pm – Taking a relaxing stroll back down Nicollet Mall we ended up at the Minneapolis Public Library. They have a great area for kids there and we took the opportunity to read some books to our girls.

3 pm – We hopped on the light rail again and took it back to the Mall of America. I’ve driven that road alongside the train countless times but it looked completely difference from inside the train. It was a fresh perspective.

We had a fun and exciting day with tons of new experiences. We really lived today.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Young at Heart

2009-05-15 By tcimbura Leave a Comment


A few months ago, I saw an inspiring documentary about a singing group called “Young at Heart” based in Northampton, Massachusetts. Members of “Young at Heart” have a minimum age of 73 and they sing contemporary and classic rock and pop songs…many songs you’d not expect people that age to sing. The film follows their lives as the they prepare for a new concert. It’s a film that will move you to really live and make the most of today.

Here’s the movie trailer.

The official movie web site and the chorus official site.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Physics, Cleanliness, and Toys

2009-05-03 By tcimbura Leave a Comment

If you ever need proof of the second law of thermodynamics, then you should live with children under the age of five. This law states that all things tend toward disorder naturally increasing entropy.

This is most evident after cleaning our home. Kids affect the “entropy” immediately. Any order created by putting things in their proper place, vacuuming, washing, etc. can be turned into a complete mess within seconds. Clean clothes are just waiting for a spill or to get unfolded. Yogurt covered hands will most certainly end with hand prints on the windows and mirrors. Eating Nutella or spaghetti are recipes for disaster. Toys get strewn about all over the house.

To help combat this issue, I now choose the toys I purchase for our kids by certain important qualities. I ask myself the following questions before making my choices:

1. Does it make any sort of noise? Play drum sets, flutes, whistles, and electronics with annoying buzzer sounds are out. Anyone giving my children these kinds of toys is no longer a friend of the family.

2. How many microscopic pieces are present or are there more than two parts to the toy? Arianna has some small princess dolls. Each individual doll has little plastic shoes, jewelry, a crown, clothes and accessories. These parts are constantly found throughout the home. In fact, the favorite activity of my daughters with regard to dolls seems to be to undress them and leave the clothes all over the home. I’ll find a bin full of naked princesses and later find their outfits under the couch, in the play oven, used as a bookmark, etc. Decks of cards and puzzle pieces stay ordered for approximately 45 seconds before they are bent, lost, or strewn about the home. Puzzles can be built once. Any subsequent attempt to put it together again will yield a minimum of 1 piece missing…kind of like Humpty Dumpty.

3. Does it require an infinite number of batteries? I’m convinced that kids toys and accessories that eat batteries were developed as a scam by Eveready or Duracell to sell more batteries. For a while we had a baby swing that required 20 Triple D cells for operation… the equivalent of a small nuclear power plant. Can we get wind generators for the toys?

4. Does it require an advanced degree to remove it from the box? I’m really glad I went to school for electrical engineering. Removing toys from boxes at Christmas is like diffusing a bomb. “Get me the wire cutters honey!”

If the toy fails any of these tests, it’s less of an option. OK…in reality…we do allow the kids to play quite a lot.

The other day, finger painting sounded like a good idea to keep the kids busy in a creative activity. About 20 minutes later my wife checked on the girls to find that they had completely covered themselves (instead of the paper) with finger paint. What fun! It was now finger…hand, hair, arm, leg, and face paint.
So my wife finally realized her dream of being a CIA agent as she said “Hands up in the air. Nobody move!” As we were cleaning them up I thought to myself “I wish I had taken a photo of that. Now I’ll have to stage the photo later.”

I’ve found that I need to resist the need to be clean all the time. Sometimes letting things be messy for a while helps them to get cleaned up better in the end. This is really a struggle for me. I’m kind of an organization and neat freak with tendencies toward perfectionism. I have a Dymo Letra Tag label maker that I hold in a holster. (Only use the plastic tape.) I build custom databases where every piece of information requires a place.

Life is about getting all messy and then cleaning up. As much as we desire to protect our kids and keep things neat, sometimes we have to let them make mistakes and get into messes on their own to learn a lesson.

Being around kids will sure help to CURE you of perfectionism…or drive you batty. I say get used to it. Life is messy. Be OK with it. You’ll have more fun.

Then one day your dream will come true like it just did a few minutes ago. My oldest daughter Arianna started cleaning up the house on her own. She said: “I want things to look shiny. If anything looks dirty, I’m going to clean it all up.” Then she proceeded to spray Windex into the DVD player. OK…two steps forward and one step back.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Sound of Music

2009-05-02 By tcimbura 1 Comment

Sometimes we just need a break from our normal routine. One day recently at Central Train Station in Antwerp, Belgium something original happened.

How would you react if suddenly the world around you started singing and dancing? Hopefully you’d smile and enjoy it. I’m sure that’s what a kid would do. In fact, they might try to join in.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Lessons from The Tale of Desperaux

2009-04-19 By tcimbura Leave a Comment


The Tale of Despereaux is an exciting and funny modern fairy tale about a little mouse that is different from other mice. His qualities play well into those essential qualities that I’ve identified that help keep us youthful, joyful, and more successful. (Warning: Contains movie spoilers. If you want to see the movie first you can do so now and then read about it later.) Here’s how Despereaux hits on the “Child at Heart” qualities:

1. Despereaux has an ACTIVE IMAGINATION and finds many creative ways to get out of his predicaments.
2. Despereaux’s actions provide us with LAUGHTER. In one favorite scene, his parents are worrying about his future and discussing it with the community leaders. Meanwhile, Despereaux simply takes the time to play and enjoy his life without care.
3. Despereaux lives for adventure experiencing many things for the FIRST TIME in world’s outside his comfort zone. He sets himself on a quest to save the princess as a gentleman without any experience ever doing that before. Despereux expresses full curiousity and desire to learn by actually reading a book he is supposed to eat.
4. Despereaux lives in the PRESENT moment…fully taking advantage of everything available to him. He values the people around him and desires to make quality friends and relationships.
5. Despereaux is always LOOKING UP. As a mouse he’s super short. His outlook and perspective on life is positive. He sees himself as part of a larger story…the bigger picture. He is not afraid to act out the part that he has been given.
6. Despereaux BELIEVES THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE. He doesn’t let anyone else crush his dreams of saving the princess…even though he is an unlikely hero. He is no where near what a typical knight in shining armor should actually look like.
7. Despereaux is DARING and brave. Despereaux’s parents and the entire mouse community try to get Despereaux to cower, be fearful, and to scurry away when danger is anywhere nearby. Despereaux refuses to fear. It just doesn’t bother him. This irony to this is funny to us but it is what often really happens in our lives. We learn to be afraid and to worry. We don’t start out that way as kids.

Despereaux is the consummate child at heart. In the end he is the hero and winner because he remains faithful to his childlike spirit in the face of all odds. See the movie. You won’t be disappointed.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Appreciating the Moment

2009-04-06 By tcimbura 2 Comments

Last Tuesday seemed like a normal day. Our daughter woke up with a fever and so we gave her some Tylenol and let her rest. One minute our little girl was quietly resting watching cartoons, then suddenly she was shaking uncontrollably, her eyes rolled back, and her face turned purple. My wife flew into action to see if she was breathing. Her jaw was clenched.

I immediately attempted to dial 911. The phone wasn’t working! I reached for my iPhone. The last time I used it, I was listening to a podcast…so the voice came on. In that moment I wanted a phone, not an iPod! I thought about the First Aid application on the phone…but there was no time to get to that. After a few seconds I was connected to 911. They got our address and sent an ambulance. In a few minutes we had three policemen and two paramedics at our home…administering oxygen and asking questions. Her little sister Brielle got a towel from the kitchen. She was all confused and wanted to help.

Arianna was rushed to the hospital with Brenda in the ambulance while I followed behind in the car. In the emergency room she looked so sad and hurt. After the initial monitoring we tried to get her to drink some fluids and keep her fever down. The doctor gave some little bear stickers to Arianna. She thought about her sister “I’ll get one for Brielle.” I wore one on my hand like she did. (My goodness it really hurts to take the sticker off when it pulls off most of my hair with it.)

After nearly 6 hours at the hospital we found she had a bad urinary tract infection. Evidently kids under the age of 6 can have “febrile seizures ” set on by high fever. She got dual shots of antibiotics in both legs. We told her “A shot hurts for a little bit but it helps you feel better for a long time”. Soon after we were on the way home with Arianna.

The whole experience reminded us again that life is so frail. Those minutes of not knowing what was happening were the longest minutes ever. We needed to know that she was safe and out of danger. Through that scary time you see what really matters. You gain perspective. At that moment money was not a concern. It didn’t matter how much the ambulance cost…if it could save our little girl. We’re thankful we have good medical care available.

That night we were back at home and Arianna was feeling better. She wanted some french fries at 10 pm. Normally, I wouldn’t go out just for the fries but that night I did. I made a late night run to the McDonald’s drive-through and then the video store to get a movie she’s been asking to see every time we passed by it. Upon seeing a 43 year old man renting “Barbie and the Diamond Castle”, the guy at the video store said “Going all out tonight, huh?” “Yes, I am.” I replied…and I was.

It’s amazing how quickly we fall back to “normal” patterns. I’m determined to appreciate life and remind myself every morning it is a new day. I agree that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. It’s appropriately called the present.

After feeling that you’ve almost lost your little one, you want to make each moment count. What would you do differently if today was your last day together with the people you care about? Why not do it now?

I put together the following action plan that is a good idea for everyone:
* Know the way to the nearest hospital. Google maps can get the directions wrong.
* Know how to dial 911. I think it’s 9-1-1…right?
* Learn CPR and First Aid. You never know when you might need it.
* Appreciate every moment of time with your loved ones.

Filed Under: Live in the Present

Inspiration From a Canadian Mayor

2009-03-26 By tcimbura Leave a Comment

Hazel McCallion has been the mayor of Mississauga, Ontario Canada for 31 years…11 consecutive terms! She is still the mayor at 88 years old with a 91% approval rating! The city is debt free and even has $700 million in reserves banked. She’s an inspiration and true Child at Heart. See her video story here via the Rick Mercer Report…

Almost makes me want to move there…and take up hockey.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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